


Another Coffee Shop AU

by FluffyPuffySheeps



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Gen, Tired Tim Drake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26017357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyPuffySheeps/pseuds/FluffyPuffySheeps
Summary: Yet another the Batfam runs a coffee shop story- But.It's all dialogue.“Jason. It’s twelve shots. That’s too much for anyone.”“It’s Tim.”“....Fair."
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 4
Kudos: 137





	1. C.E.O. is outed, much to his disinterest

**Author's Note:**

> I think.... i think my inner writer broke... now all I can do is write dialogue...
> 
> Lots more chapters coming, but they're all kind of short (600-1200) so probably going to post one a day.
> 
> Heh, hope you can follow along....

“ _ Again?” _

“I know, I know, but he’s got those eyes, ya know, puppy dog eyes, how am I supposed to say no? And he asked all polite- like, we  _ never _ get polite people here, I couldn’t resist. It’s Tim, anyway, he’ll be fine.”

“Jason. It’s twelve shots. That’s too much for anyone.”

“It’s Tim.”

“....Fair. Still not healthy."

"But what should I do next time?”

“There won’t be another time. No one’s that desperate twice.”

“It’s Tim.”

“Why do you keep making good points? I don’t know, give him decaf instead, he can pay for it. "

"But, Dick, isn't that, like, illegal or something? And what if he has to be to work, I don't want to get him in trouble."

"Remember the time he came in and started talking to Steph and we all freaked out because two of our regulars knew each other and used to  _ date _ ? And then they freaked out because neither of them knew the other came in here? And then we all freaked out when the open sign crashed and broke?"

"Yes? Wait, Dick, you still haven't fixed that sign. Didn't Bruce tell you to get that done by-"

" _ Anyway,  _ Tim was talking to Stephanie about how he needed coffee to get him through the day because without it he had trouble tolerating life or wanted to die or some other concerning morbid statement and she said he had so many sick days saved up that he could take a vacation for the next six months and then maybe he could-"

"Geez, Dick. Take a breath. Yeah, I remember that, sort of. Wow. How did you remember that conversation so well? You barely can figure out if it's your day to clean the bathrooms. "

"I dunno. Is it my day to clean the bathrooms?"

"Yes."

"Shoot."

"Deal with it, ya wi- O day untowardly turned! O mischief strangely thwarting!"

"Why are you quoting Shakespeare again, Jason, I thought Bruce told you to- oh. Oh dear. He's back."

"..."

"..."

"Why?"

"It's Tim."

"Hi, welcome to Starbucks you absolute idiot, what can I get for you that doesn't have caffeine?"

"Dick, seriously? I need a-"

"Hot chocolate? Excellent choice. Jason, will you get that please?"

"Right away Dickiebird!"

"Seriously, Dick, I think I'm going to die if you don't give me some. It's not that bad, promise, I'm being careful-

"That's on the house, now why don't you just sit down right over here on our lovely comfy chair, Bruce just got some comfy chairs, here’s Jason’s jacket-”

“What the heck, Dick, stop it, isn’t this borderline illegal, like, I don’t know, harassment of a customer-”

“I’m sorry Tim, but you know how Dick is, here’s your hot chocolate, please don’t blame me-”

"Dick, stop, please-"

"Shhhhhh Timmy, its sleepy time-"

“ _ BOYS!!!” _

“Uh… Hi Bruce! How’s it going? Me and Jay here were just ah, um, getting Tim his hot chocolate.”

“In the last four years I have run this place, Tim’s never gotten anything but coffee. Don’t lie to me. Jason, I thought better of you, what were you thinking?”

“How was I supposed to stop him? You know Dick’s an unstoppable force when it comes to these things. There’s nothing to be done but damage control at the end of it. I mean, really, what should have I done?”

“Wait a second. Jason that’s what you said about Tim, too, you’re such a liar, Bruce-”

“I- Never mind. Tim, are you alright?”

“...”

“Tim?”

“Oh my gosh he’s fallen asleep, Jason, he’s fallen asleep, told you he was exhausted. You have to clean the bathrooms now.”

“But we never made a bet!”

“Shhhhhh he’s asleep.”

“Boys you do realize Tim is a CEO, right? He actually does need to be at work, he’s got important things going on. We can’t just let him sleep… though he does look pretty tired… maybe it’d be okay just this once…”

“HE’S A CEO?”

“Um, yes? Wait, no one’s manning the counter- Dick go back to work.”

“Sheesh Bruce fine. But don’t wake him up.”

“Glad the idiot’s gone-”

“I can still hear you!”

  
  
“But a CEO? He never said anything.”

“And I seem to remember a certain young man who lied on his resume and told me he lived in Newtown, when he in fact lived in Crime Alley, and the same young man who also told me he’d be able to drive himself here when in fact he did not have a car.”

“Biking is good exercise, ok? And thank you for not caring about that but- I get what you’re saying. Dang. No wonder he’s so tired all the time. What company does he work for?”

“I think that’s Tim's information to share. For now, though, might as well let him sleep. I’ve been trying to get him to do that for years.”

“Bruce. You too? You hypocrite.”

“At least I’m more subtle than Dick is. Hey, why is the open sign still broken?”


	2. Two creeps enter local coffee shop after hours

“Hey, Dick, I’m closing up, alright? You can go home now.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, Bruce already left. You might as well go.”

“But you have, like, three jobs Jason. You need your sleep. I’m fine, go ahead, get an extra hour please?”

“Actually… I don’t. Not anymore.”

“They fired you!? Who? Why? I’m going to call them and yell until their eardrums bleed, how dare they let you go, you’re such a good worker-”   
  


“Dick. I quit.”

“I. What? Why?’

“So, um, you know how I’ve been writing a novel?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“So I sent out a few query letters, and I got an agent a while ago-”

“That’s great Jason-”

“ _ And,  _ stop interrupting me Dick, she, um, she found a publisher who got interested in it, and, well, it’s getting published.”

“ _ WHATTTTT?” _

“Actually, it’s already published. It went out last week.”

“No. Way. Jason. That’s so cool. I can’t believe it! I’m so proud of you!”

“Dick. Dick. Stop hugging me, please, stop, I’m serious- “

“OW! That hurt!”

“Well it got you off of me, didn’t it? Anyway, so far reviews are good, and I got a good chunk of money, so I went ahead and quit the landscaping gig. Always hated working there. I’m still working at the mall for security, but that one’s not so bad. Figured I could use the extra time to look for something more steady.”

“That’s so awesome! Have you found anything yet?”

“Nah, but I’m still looking. I’m waiting on a call back from a couple places, but I think there’s a job in a garage as a mechanic that would be good. You don’t need a degree or nothin’, but it checked out.”

“Really? You don’t need a degree?”

“Well, they said they’d train me on the job, and the pay’s not half bad. $18 an hour. Enough to pay for my apartment and bills and stuff. Hopefully, if I get that one, I can quit the security job.”

“Wait, you could quit this place too. Are you going to-?

“Aw, c’mon Goldie, Bruce is way too attached to me to let me leave. There’s no escape from here now. But yeah, I’d probably cut down my hours. NOW, get outta here.”

“Alright, alright, see you!”

“Scram! Kay, inventory’s done, just got to clean up the back and we should be good. Dang, it’s eleven thirty already, I-”

“...”

“What was that.”

“I’m telling you, Ed, it’s open! The lights are on! See, there’s even a…. guy here!”

“John. You had to pick the lock to get in here. That guy was clearly closing. Sorry, John’s kind of a criminal sometimes-”

“Ed, how dare you, I am no mere criminal.”

“And he likes to freak people out.”

“Well, John, your friend’s right. We’re closed. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to call the police if you stick around.”

“No chance we could get a coffee? Me and Ed are dead on our feet.”

“Ed and I, get your grammar right, John.”

“Well excuse you, Mister Wordplay! Not everyone can be all clever all the time.”

“Sorry, but are you Mr. Enigma? Guy who owns the theatre shop on fifth? Person who always has those riddles and if you can solve it you get a discount?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Sorry about this, John’s a bit… insane. He’s the owner of the haunted house across from me. It’s called the Scarecrow?”

“Oh! That place freaks me out every time. Well, I’m really sorry about this guys, but you really, really, need to leave- no, you can’t just grab that, John, stop-”

“John! I am so, so sorry. Uhm. We’ll be leaving now. Sorry. Bye.”

“Um, bye?”

“...”

“What was that.”


	3. Alleged son joins workforce, causing contention

“So, Damian, why don’t you get started on counting inventory, and when you’re done, I’ll run you through how to- Oh, Tim, hey- oh Tim are you- oh. Tim. Buddy. You alive there? You know what, I’ll just get you your usual, mk sweetheart?”

“Mmmgurph.”

“Yep, coming right up.”

“ _ You call the CEO of Drake Industries sweetheart? Richard, are you insane?” _

“Drake Industries! Yes! I win the bet! Now you really have to fix that sign.”

“Go away Todd, we are dealing with a much more serious matter, namely, the CEO slumped on the counter. Is he alive?”

“Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!”

“Okay, okay, I will. During my break. Now go finish cleaning the tables. Anyway, Damian, this is Tim, our resident coffee cryptid and one of our regulars. He always gets a chai latte when he’s awake, and a tall black coffee when he’s like this, which is about once a week. If Steph’s here, he may get something different. Maybe. It was only once. I’m still holding out hope.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. All you have to do is hold out his cup and-”   
  


“ _ Mine.” _

“He’ll slink off to a table to wake up for the next ten minutes. See? Don’t worry about it.”

“Fresh meat! Hey Dickie, who is this?”

“Hey Clark, haven’t seen you in a while. Damian, this is Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet, the newspaper in Metropolis. Him and Bruce are really good friends, because Clark used to work in Gotham and spent his morning here. Clark, this is Damian. Bruce’s son. He’s just starting.”

“Bruce’s  _ what _ .”

“Son. It’s complicated.”

“Complicated my foot, Bruce should’ve told me, where is he?”

“He’s in the back, but I don’t- never mind. There he goes. I don’t think Clark is coming back for a while.”

“Customers aren’t allowed in the back! What is he thinking? We should call security.”

“It’s fine, Damian. Chill. Clark does that sometimes. Any other questions?”

“How did you become manager?”

“Well, um, talk about blunt. I guess I just worked here for a long time, and then I went to college and other things for a few years, and then Bruce called me up one day out of the blue to tell me that he needed some more help and wanted to know if I’d consider coming back. And, I dunno, I worked a lot. And Bruce likes me.”

“Yeah Goldie! How does it feel to be the favorite?”

“ _ I’m _ the favorite? Who did Bruce drive home for the first year because they didn’t have a car? Huh, Jason?”

“Richard, why is Todd blushing and cursing at you? Isn’t cursing against company policy?”   
  


“Trust me, getting Jason not to swear is like calming down a Karen. Do-able, but not anything short of Herculean. And he’s embarrassed by it, is all. Now come on kid, I’ve got to get back to the counter, so why don’t you get started? Oh hi, Bruce, you’re in charge of training Damian now, bye~”

“Father.”

“Damian.”   
  


“Your employees are imbeciles.”

“I am aware of that, yes.”

“Why do you not fire them?”

“Because, unfortunately, I’ve gotten attached. Don’t make that mistake, son. Anyway, Clark is still seething in the back, so we’ve got some time to go over what ever Dick neglected. What have you done so far?”

“Inventory, cleaning, a few of the basic drinks. He said he’d go over more as soon as I got familiarized, but I am clearly more than competent and can learn them now-”

“Damian, what is Tim’s favorite drink?”

“What?”

“I overheard you talking about Tim. What is his favorite drink?”

“I do not know, why should that matter? The point is for a customer to order and for us to give them the product they paid for.”   
  


“Part of our job as a store is to make our  _ service _ as enjoyable as possible, so people will  _ want _ to come back here. Tim is a regular. So is Cass, in the corner there. So is Barbara, who comes in the afternoons, and Kate, who usually appears at around ten at night. There’s also people like Stephanie, Harper and her brother Cullen, sometimes Selina, a couple of others. If you treat them rudely, they’ll probably come back, but if you treat a random person badly? They’ll never come back, and then we lose business. Remembering those things, like favorite drinks, makes people feel included and happy and they tend to come back more often.”

“I… see.”

“So, for now, we’re trying to get you acclimatized not to the work, but the atmosphere. How to treat people, so to speak.”

“And when will I be… acclimatized?”

“I don’t know. Hopefully soon. Now why don’t you go to Jason and help him clean the tables?”   
  


“Yes, father.”

“BRUCE! I’m not done with you yet!”

“Father? Why does Mr. Kent seem so angry?”

“Uhhhhhh not important. I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And if you could, remind Dick to fix the sign!”


End file.
